Help! Is this normal? Understanding Your Child

One of the most common questions I hear as a neuropsychologist is: “Is this normal?” Parents often wonder if a behavior is simply age-appropriate or something more concerning. For younger children, I frequently hear, “but he’s a boy…” as an explanation for impulsivity or high energy. For adolescents, questions often focus on mood—“Isn’t this just hormonal?” These questions make sense, especially when the child is the oldest, the only boy or girl in the family, or when parents have limited points of comparison.

What Is Normal?

“Normal” might be my least favorite word, simply because it depends on so many variables. A behavior that is completely typical in one setting can be problematic in another. For example, it is entirely normal for a child to run, shout, and jump at the park. But the same behaviors in a classroom setting would understandably raise concern. What is normal for a child with a history of trauma, developmental delay, or chronic illness may look very different than what is typical for a peer with no such background. Context matters.

How Psychoeducational Evaluations Can Help

This is where psychoeducational evaluations are incredibly valuable. These evaluations go far beyond just administering tests. They use norm-referenced measures—tools that compare a child’s performance to a large, representative sample of same-age and same-gender peers. This means I can tell you not just whether your child’s behavior or performance is typical for their age, but also whether it is typical for, say, a 6-year-old boy. And yes, there are meaningful gender differences, especially in younger children, when it comes to attention, activity level, and emotional expression.

In addition to standardized testing, evaluations incorporate input from multiple informants—parents, teachers, counselors—who provide insights into how a child functions across different environments. Teachers, in particular, are an invaluable source of information. Many have taught hundreds of children within a specific age range and can speak to what’s developmentally expected versus atypical. They know what’s "normal" for a classroom full of 9-year-old boys or 13-year-old girls because they’ve seen it all.

Finally, any understanding of a child must be rooted in their personal history. If a child has experienced medical challenges, trauma, or a recent change in family circumstances, those factors affect their behavior and performance. What’s normal for one child may be an adaptive response for another who has faced adversity.

Understanding the Whole Child Through Evaluations

When evaluating a developing child, one source of data is never enough. Test scores alone are not sufficient, and neither are behavior rating scales. At The Mind Spot, our evaluations are grounded in an ecological systems approach to child development, recognizing that each child is shaped by a complex web of influences—from family and school to community and culture. Our goal is to understand the whole child, in their context, and provide clarity for families asking, “Is this normal?”

How The Mind Spot Can Help 

The Mind Spot can walk you through the steps of our psychoeducational evaluation process. Psychoeducational evaluations play a vital role in identifying and understanding a student’s unique profile of strengths and weaknesses, thereby allowing us to target specific needs with tailored interventions. An evaluation offers an individualized process that uses a variety of assessment tools to develop a thorough understanding of your child’s cognitive, academic, and social-emotional profile.

Our goal is to provide you with answers to the “why” behind your child’s current struggles. Make an appointment with Dr. Shannon Ackal today.